At Let’s Dress Up you know we love a little pomp and circumstance. We clink our china teacups with our pinkies up. But etiquette is not just elaborate rules and curtseying to the Queen. It is so much more than that. It can be a building block to so much more. And we believe that writing it off as outdated is shortsighted.
In today’s modern world, we all have our heads in our phones and our kids are on electronics more than ever. As the research is beginning to show, there are many negative byproducts of that. Instant gratification rules the day and basic social skills are being lost. Teaching young kids to say please and thank you as well as sharing and taking turns are a great place to start. But what if we carry it further to include making eye contact, speaking up, addressing adults. Then these things become building blocks to respectful, confident, self-assured kids.
Parents are always surprised at the shop when we have 12 kids at an event that don’t know each other and we seat them for tea served on real Royal Albert English China. They sit straight, put their napkins in their lap (with a gentle reminder) and have manners. If you listen you will hear them start chatting with each other, debating hot topics like who is your favorite princess or would you rather be a unicorn or a mermaid. We gush when they remember to say please and thank you which encourages more of them to follow suit. They don’t fuss, they don’t break plates. Yes of course, they get antsy eventually and the M&Ms help buy us time, but they are matching the environment, socializing and enjoying themselves. Given the chance and positioning it as part of the fun, they are inclined to jump on board.
Think about the small things that can lead to a bigger impact. If they are taught to properly use dining utensils at home, then they almost automatically repeat it at a restaurant. Then it becomes reading the menu and seeing what they might like to eat and getting comfortable navigating that. Then it becomes being able to politely order for themselves. All small steps towards building confidence and independence.
Then at a friend's house, they address the parents respectfully even when you’re not there. And maybe even more importantly, they are speaking up for themselves, can I please have a glass of water or what time is my mom coming to get me.
At school they could ask a teacher for help. Or ask the librarian to help them find a book. At a store they could ask where to find something. Or god forbid they need actual help, walking up to someone and speaking clearly about what they need. They learn to address adults respectfully and can advocate for themselves in a way that gets results. These little steps towards independence add up to real wins.
Call us old fashioned if you want, but at Let’s Dress Up, we will continue to curtsey and clink glasses while sneaking manners into the fabric of our events and hope that some of it sinks in.