You may have seen our recent Instagram Live with Parenting Coach Jill from Jillybeans where we discussed settling into Fall, routine, and playdates. This got us thinking about so many things we decided it deserved its own blog post for those that missed it or wanted more details.
Playdates are a great way for your child to socialize, spend time with new classmates and can be a great way for you to get to know other parents.
First and foremost, let’s be clear, what we are talking about is just a few extra minutes of preparation and tips that will set you up for success, not adding more things to the already lengthy to-do list.
Planning ahead. Take care of logistics in advance, who is hosting, will both caregivers stay (is the child comfortable being dropped off?). I also recommend setting an end time, this way the kids know how much time they have together and there are no surprises. I like to keep them between 90 minutes and 2 hours.
Tip. When the relationship is new, I prefer to do the first playdate at someone’s house so they can focus on getting to know each other. Locations like the playground can have other friends in the mix, different levels of risk tolerance and it can be a lot to keep an eye on. Going to a playspace or booking an activity together can be a really fun option once they are more comfortable with each other. Plug for Let’s Dress Up, kids often register for one of our events and then tell their friends to book too.
Hosting, planning and activities. If you are the host, have play ideas and crafts on hand so you can provide options that appeal to both children. For example, I may ask my daughter what the other child likes to do in choice time at school, do they draw, build, play with dolls, etc. Then we think of a few things that we have that they both would enjoy and we put them out or at least make sure to know where they are. The goal is to avoid the kids going down an indecisive spiral trying to decide. It also allows your child to be part of the planning process which is fun and empowering for them.
Of course we all have markers, paint, stickers, beads and things like that, maybe pair them in a new way or mention a particular theme like Fall leaves or apples to get them started. I also always keep a few kits from Five Below, Target or Michael’s (especially for seasonal items). Make sure they have more than one product in the kit, but that they are similar so there won’t be any arguments over dividing them up. So many valuable lessons present themselves in these situations like sharing and taking turns.
Baking is another great idea, but it can be involved and messy. Think of an abridged version, like cupcake decorating where the cupcakes (from a mix) are baked in advance and then you put out icing and sprinkles and let them get creative. Or do slice and bake cookies that they can help with and then eat for a snack. (Don’t forget to feed them especially if it’s after school when they are always starving.)
Wrapping up. Once you have given the all important 15 minute warning about wrapping things up, ask the kids to spend just a couple minutes helping clean up. You can facilitate and say let’s just put all the Legos away together or why don’t each of you pick up 3 things and put them away and we will handle the rest later. Again, this has them actively participating in the process and teaches them not to just walk out on a mess. No one wants to be the host left with a disaster area. It’s also nice for them to remember this when they are the guest at someone else's house.
Word of warning. You may still have to oversee or intervene in playdate activities, especially with younger kids. I would not plan an important phone call or project during that time as that could leave you feeling stressed. But rest assured as they get older it does become an opportunity for them to be entertained while you do other things!